What a week
You know, Fascism, gardening, hungry masses, COVID.
On Monday, I did my last harvest for our local food bank at the community garden where I have had a plot for three years. The garden is right next to the first apartment my wife, Nova, and I lived in when I moved to the Bay (she’s from here, so for her, it was more of a return than a move-to). We moved in when she was pregnant with our first, and in those three years, I spent many, many hours looking out the window into this garden as I rocked and bounced babies.
I saw a lot of really badass cats lurking among the leaves and also an amazing gardener who farms plots here and in other spots in the East Bay. We met him when he approached us to harvest the plums off the tree in our backyard, and he can be seen climbing into pomelo lemon, and plum trees all around the neighborhood. We could often see him gardening at night with a head lamp on his head. He funnels so much food to the food to the food bank, and this year I had the honor of helping him by harvesting the food grown in plots set aside for the food bank one day each week. What a blessing to touch plants and the earth and provide for other humans amidst my digital, urban life.
I decided to leave the community garden after years of unpleasant interactions with a person. I won’t hash the drama out here like it’s NextDoor (a website version of the Bad Place). What’s relevant to this post is that on top of unpleasant interactions generally from a key player, key-player’s anti-vax anti-mask behavior was a regular occurrence and it deterred me from going to the garden except to do my food bank shift. Given what is transforming in my life + the energy I have to battle unpleasant individuals (which is currently a negative integer) + anti-vaxxers around me and my kids + all the other big-picture battles, I decided it was time to say goodbye early1 to the community garden and this corner of Alameda where our babies learned to crawl.
When I say I said goodbye to the garden, what I meant is that in reality, I moved between the rows harvesting while catching up with my good friend who lives across the country. I was immersed in our exchange, which was about life, and our dreams, and our babies, and how we are enduring. We were chatting about our future hopes as I closed up the doors to the shed and wished the food to nourish the people whose bowls it landed in. And I went home. And it was done. That corner is the past, for now.
But, speaking of anti-vaxxers, here’s a picture of an anti-vax sticker, alluding to children dying from vaccines, that was stuck to a pole across the street from my house. It’s hard to read because when I saw it, I frantically started tearing it off, before noticing that I wanted to take a picture of it. It was hung at a height that my 3rd grader certainly would have seen and read it, had she been with me.
Now, listen. I’m no fan of big pharma. I’m a very big fan of informed medical consent. I’m a fan of peer-reviewed research and public disclosure of information. And, I’ve had three vaccines, happily. Rushed there. I am so grateful that after a year and a half of my family being very isolated from other people my kids were able to get vaccinated this month. I get a number of factors that might lead someone to distrust the medical-industrial complex, the United States Government, English-only research reports etc. But also…:: points wildly around ::
Okay, I’m not coming to the internet to write about COVID deniers like I have anything interesting or persuasive to say. I am coming on the internet to talk about how they’re up in my face in my neighborhood in my small Bay Area city in the same week that the white, midwestern, assault-rifle murderer of Black Lives Matter protesters, Kyle Rittenhouse, was acquitted. And I’m ready to do a little more studying of Fascism2, a little more / even more preparation. Do you remember this list? It seems so long ago that it seemed new to me. It seems like a necessary check-in.
What have we survived, what is happening now as some of us are vaccinated and leaving the house and breaking bread with each other for the first time, and the volume keeps getting turned up? We who believe in fairness and justice and a planet that humans can live on and in relationship with other living beings have not won yet, and I am very distrustful of the days and weeks as they unfold before us as I am very crispy burnt and tired. How do we treat each other and start again amid such unwellness?
So, Fascism is on my mind. These anti-vax stickers and forwarded emails, careless speeding cars and homeowning, wealthy people spending their energy to be super upset about retail theft while also calling into County officials to complain about the tyranny of not being able to evict people during a pandemic, the steady rise in home prices as more and more people are pushed into their cars and the streets. The signs are everywhere, they’ve been everywhere, they’re just stuck to a pole outside my house this week in addition to being in my ears and inbox. I am going to take another listen to this podcast with Ejeris Dixon on Fascism. And a look at this essay, also by Ejeris. That’s what I’ve got to guide me through the haze of this week.
Feelings. Politics and feelings3.
What’s guiding you? What good anti-Facism reads have helped you?
I was not planning on renewing our agreement for the Spring time.
a political philosophy, movement, or regime (such as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition (Miriam Webster Dictionary)
Also obviously organize, donate, fight fight fight. I promise I do and will.